Doesn't the phrase “going down on her” imply that the actor is lowering himself? Doesn't it suggest that he is subservient? Subordinate? Beneath her? This is not about equality. When you put your face in her pussy you are pleasuring her.
Oh sure, you may enjoy the smell of her cunt next to your nose, that warm wet feeling against your face. You may get hard from the way her body looks from between her legs. Your dick may press hard against the bed, even oozing precum.
But the odds are that she's the one who is going to have the orgasm.
And just look at it from this perspective. Did you ever have a lady go down on you? Didn't it seem like she was the one being humiliated? Wasn't all about your pleasure? Did you have the desire to please her with your dick in her mouth, or did you just like the way it felt?
Maybe you go down on your woman hoping she'll do the same for you. Or maybe you're trying to get her hot so that she'll screw. But have you ever gone down on a woman and after she was satisfied the sex was over? You sure are the humble one when this happens. Perhaps this has never happened to you, but it did happen to me.
When I licked my woman to orgasm and then our session ended I had the distinct feeling of having been used. This is a bit frustrating, but it is also a bit exciting. It's the kind of feeling you might try developing as you go down on your lady. After all, shouldn't you be thinking about her pleasure rather than what you might eventually get from her?
Your place is with your face between her legs. Your purpose is to provide her pleasure. When you adopt this attitude and look forward to licking her cunt simply for the sake of bringing her to orgasm you are on the road to becoming a proficient cunt-licker. When you have your face burried between her legs her pleasure should be your sole purpose. You are now subordinate to her sexual pleasure.