Vibrators are illegal in Kenya!

Inspired by The Lucky One’s excellent pictures I brought some toys (vibrators) on my recent trip, but I found out the hard way that they are illegal in Kenya. I had to bribe myself out of a threatening 15 years – lifetime imprisonment.

It all started at Cheers. First I waited for one girl to call me and confirm a date. When she didn’t call in time I waited for another girl (same who told the story about the mugging outside Kahama), and when she too took too long I moved and sat down next to a pretty girl who had been smiling at me all the evening, Faith is her name. She seemed a bit drowsy, and she talked in a backward twisted way that I could not fully understand, but she had a very pretty face and seemed to have a body matching my specs and she agreed to come with me to Kahama.

Before she undressed I took a picture of her face, but it didn’t come out too well. In the sack she proved she indeed had a very nice body and a sweet pussy, but she was the first star fish experience I have had in Africa. She showed however a little bit of interest in the toys, and she tried one clitoris vibrator, without seemingly enjoying it, and then she tried the G-spot vibrator, but she soon took it out saying somthing like ”Shaking inside”.

We slept and had another uninspiring round in the morning, and when she had dressed I asked if she hadn’t liked any of the toys. Then she grabbed the lilac G-spot vibrator. I said ”If you want this I want to take pictures of your pussy”. She undressed again and we had a short photo session.

In the evening the next day I met her at Cheers and she asked me ”Why you take this pictures?”, and I said I would look at them to remember her. She also said other things I did not understand. Her friend (the Kahama mugging story girl) said to me that she also had great difficulties in understanding what Faith was saying. Anyway; I moved on to Casablanca and gave the girls a lift there.

Next afternoon I again met Faith, this time at Big Tree, and again she asked about the pictures, and I still had problems understanding what she was saying. But as I left she suddenly said: ”I will give you trouble with the police, you understand?”. Like out of the blue!

Anyway, I went straight to the hotel, deleted all nude pictures from the camera and watched the post election riot news on TV.

There was a knock on the door and three policmen came in, one in uniform and two plain in clothes. We started with a friendly chat and then the uniformed (good cop) said that there had been a complaint and they needed to investigate it: A girl had complained that I had taken pornographic pictures of her while she was asleep and against her will. He asked to see my camera, which I gave him.

I explained to the police that in my opinion the girl indeed had given her consent since she had opted for the vibrator and undressed herself after she already had dressed in the morning. When I understood that she was unhappy with the pictures I had deleted them.

Then I made the mistake of showing the other vibrators.

They asked me to come with them to the Tourist Police station (opposite Cheers) and I had no choice.

In the captain’s office the plain clothes policeman (bad cop) took charge. He brought in the girl, whom I of course said I recognized. Again she said something I did not understand but the policeman translated ”Why you open her pussy and take picture”. And at this moment I understood what it was all about: I had taken one picture where I opened her pussy to get some pink, and it was obviously this that had upset the girl so much.

They kept asking about the deleted pictures, if I had more memory cards, if I had a laptop or a flash disk, which I of course hadn’t. I said that if I still had had the pictures I would have proved the girl was awake and co-operating.

Anyway, to cut a long story (two hours in the police station) short, the police showed me excerpts from an appendix to the law, Sexual Assault Act– 2006. One chapter (17?) was about leading someone into prostitution, which could lead to 5 years in jail, and another chapter (22?) was about using objects in the genital areas which could lead to from 15 years to life time imprisonment (or 500,000 KES fine). (The captain seriously said that there was scientific proof that these objects destroyed thousands of nerves in the sensitive areas!) The plain clothes said they were going to press charges. I said I had understood that I, not knowingly, had broken the Kenyan law. He said he was going to start the necessary procedures, taking fingerprints and all that, and then he told me was going to fetch the equipment, and while he was doing that I should find a solution. This was of course a clear hint that a bribe would do the trick.

I pretended for a while I didn’t understand this, but after some time I gave a suggestion of a compensation to the girl and a contribution to the important work of the police, say 30,000 KES. That didn’t seem to be enough.

He came back with the tools and asked if I had talked to the captain yet, but he had been busy, and I said I really wasn’t sure what to say. Then he wrote the figure 50,000 on a paper.

Finally the captain had time to talk to me: I said I had understood I had broken the law, but to save us all some trouble I suggested a compensation of 50,000 KES. The captain was silent for a few seconds, as to think it over, then he said OK.

I fetched my credit card, pulled 50,000 KES from an ATM, went into the police station back room and handed over the money. I asked the captain: ”My name does not appear in any papers?”, and he said ”No papers.”

It was an unpleasant experience, but in a way I’m glad I’ve been through it. But it’s not one I can tell anyone but you guys. What buggers me I didn't see it coming earlier.

If any of you local guys can obtain a copy of this Sexual Assault Act from 2006 and give a summary of what more is illegal it would maybe be enlightning for the forum. (I didn’t have the nerve to return to the police station and ask for a copy ;) ).